Coaching is not about giving advice

When I talk to people about coaching, many of them think that coaching is giving advice. I want you to know that coaching is NOT giving advice or your personal opinion. Here's a little story to explain what I mean...

The other day I was having a difficult moment with something in my life. I had entered into an agreement that was uncomfortable for me. The other person had triggered me and I wanted to end the relationship. I was like a kid in the sand box, someone had pissed me off, made me feel bad about myself and I wanted to pack up my toys and go home. I wanted them to f off and I wanted to feel sorry for myself. 

I reached out to a friend and coach (one of the many advantages of being a coach is having access to so many amazing coaches!). She talked me through it, reflected powerfully what she saw, reminded me why I entered into this agreement in the first place, what it gave access to, asked me what breakthroughs could come from this, I was offered choice. I could do things the way I always had OR I could choose a new path and new way of being. I felt empowered and uplifted.

I talked to someone else, they gave me their advice. Gave me options for what I could/should do. I know this person was just trying to help, however it felt a bit dismissive and more like I was being ‘talked at’. 

It had never hit me this hard, the difference between coaching and giving advice. Both conversations happened within 20 minutes of each other and the difference was SO CLEAR!

Empowerment vs. disempowerment, feeling uplifted vs. feeling unsure, being truly listened to vs. being talked at.

- Amy xo